Karma bites really hard, and always at times when you least expect it. The bite wound carries a virus worse than rabies. It gnaws from the inside and breaks you down, attacking your sanity one fragile piece at a time before everything simply crumbles and there is nothing left of your original self.

Why hello my empty shell, I can just hear thoughts whirling around as echos.

Funny how in life you always want something that is unreachable, untouchable, ethereal and unreal. And when reality tugs you back your reflex makes you kick it so hard in the shin till it helplessly lets go.

Thinking back I just realized how much of a bitch I am. The way I treated the guys who actually honestly cared and truly wanted to be always there for me, this is probably karma throwing poisoned harpoons at me.

I am so sick of being in relationships that aren't really relationships. The past few months have been about one unofficial relationship after another; about people thinking I'm attached when I'm really not; about people thinking that there is something going on about someone and me when all we really are is friends.

Stop being so damn nice and acting like you're interested if you're not because if I do actually fall for you (like all those hundreds of other innocent victims did), I'm going to hate you so much I will curse you in every second of my sleep and wish for the Golden Gate to crumble upon you.

BECAUSE you came to me when I was at my most vulnerable and fed your ego upon my naivety. I wish I could look into that shining armor of yours and see for myself what you truly are.

I hope it's not an inflated ego inside there but my instinct is telling me otherwise.

My emo level is going up exponentially from reading secretzen.com. I should stop but I can't.